Today we celebrated your life! We remembered our favorite times with you and shared them with each other. We got 19 beautiful balloons and one mylar...Beccah picked it out. We then took our hands and gathered in a circle and each of us graspped the strings tied to the balloons and we said "Happy Birthday Chris, we love you, we miss you" Then on the count of three we sent our wishes off to heaven as we released the balloons. We watched them go so high...then they were gone. All of us miss you. You will always be a part of us. Grieving never goes away...God's grace just gets bigger.
I am sitting here thinking of all the things you have done to touch so many lives. We went and saw Vaughn Jarrold two weeks ago and he remebered you Chris. He remembered things that i had forgotton you two talked about. He was amazed by the call you had and the legacy you left here. He said even though you were gone from earth...that the Father had you in His presence.
Your passion lives on in all of us. Beccah is playingthe guitar and she said the other day she was taking over where you left off! Chris! I wentto a recording studio and I sung and recorded a track. We finally see what we are suppose to be doing.
We have gone againstthe grain and have been set free in so many ways by breaking off and KNOWING that it is HIM that we follow not man. No man can compare to HIM.
We miss your voice...you will always be a part of who we are and I will always be proud of being your mom.
Chris/ Mrs. Kim
Hey Chris, You are such a precious kid. You were my favorite helper in Childrens Church. You amazed me with your songs in class and your preaching too. You really lit up the room. I will never stop missing you. See you again one day, Mrs. Kim Close
I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU CHRIS / SHARON BURTON (FRIEND)Read >>
I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU CHRIS / SHARON BURTON (FRIEND)
THANKS FOR ALL THE TIMES YOU HELPED OUT IN CHILDRENS CHURCH AND ALL THE TIMES YOU MADE ME LAUGH AND FOR BEING SUCH A GOOD EXAMPLE TO THE OTHER KIDS. I KNOW YOU ARE DANCING LIKE NOBODY IS WATCHING NOW UP IN HEAVEN, I SAW YOU DANCING THE MOST AWESOME WORSHIP DANCE, LIKE DAVID MUST HAVE DANCED BEFORE THE LORD LONG AGO. I STILL FEEL LIKE CRYING THINKING OF YOU, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART CHRIS, I LOVE YOU, MISS SHARON
A beautiful quote / Chelle Wilkinson (Mom)
<b>“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo F. Buscaglia
Poem/ Chelle Wilkinson (Mom) And if i go, while you're still here.. By Emily Dickinson
And if i go, while you're still here.. know that I live on, vibrating to a different measure behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me, so you must have faith.
I wait for the time when we can soar together again, both aware of each other.
Until then, live your life to its fullest and when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart, ....I will be there. Close
Missing you on your birthday. / Beccah Chelle Wilkinson (Sister)Read >>
Missing you on your birthday. / Beccah Chelle Wilkinson (Sister)
I just want you to know that I thought about you a lot today. I know it is your birthday and you have been gone a while now, but I can never forget you. Pictures remind me of you...my memories of you are in my heart and will stay there permenantly.
I will never forgetthe way you lit up everyone's day, like when you would love on Grace and all the other kids. Never leaving anyone out.
When daddy holds me in the rocking chair, it reminds me of you. but even daddy can never make me feel what I felt when you rocked me. I will never forget that.
Another way I remember you is when I participate in other instruments. I tried the trumpet and did not really like it...I loved when we took guitar lessons together. I miss that.
When you use to be here I know everyone can never be perfect but you were a perfect big brother to me. I miss you.
Wow...18. I wonder what you would sound like? Look like? How tall would you be? Would you be graduating college your first year since you got in so early? I wonder about a girl? Would there have been a special one in your life? I wonder what we would be doing to celebrate with you today? I miss your voice so much. I miss hearing you singing and playing your guitar Chris. I know so many people are aching today for the sadness we feel on a day where a beautiful life was born into this world. I can only believe you are safe...not hurting...free. I love you so much son...I never knew a pain in my soul so deep before. Keep watching over us...Happy Birthday Christopher.
My theme song... / Chelle Wilkinson (Mom) What's your theme song? What makes it you?
I was asked this question today and almost did not answer. It was on our forum at www.womens-place.com. I decided to answer it and this is what I said:
Wow, very deep question for me. For the past year and a half I have had to really overcome quite a lot of sadness and grief. I have just come to realize in my life that I will NEVER get over it. It is a part of who I am. I have always been able to rebound fairly quickly. This time it took a different approach. I had to allow my self to become broken but not destroyed. I had to feel everything I needed to feel. I had to hurt, cry, hate, see, feel, taste, listen, forgive and love. I never lost hope, came close but I found myself again. Strong, courageous, caring and loving but also Beautifully Broken...hence the song for me that represents me...
Ashlee Simpson - Beautifully Broken Lyrics
It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky
It seems like yesterday I didn't know how hard I could cry It feels like tomorrow I may not get by But I will try I will try Wipe the tears from my eyes I'm beautifully broken And I don't mind if you know it I'm beautifully broken
And I don't care if I show it Everyday is a new day I'm reminded of my past Everytime there's another storm I know that it won't last Every moment I'm filled with hope 'cause I get another chance But I will try I will try
Got nothing Left to hide Without the highs and the lows Where would we go Where would we go
Wow...such a powerful song to me, there are no other words that describe what the death of my oldest son Chris has done for my life. He actually saved my life is so many ways. I miss him so much and wish so hard he was here with me. I know he is in a better place...but in all honesty...it does not make one bit of a difference.
I almost hesitated to post anything emotional but then that would not be giving back to the ones who have been so supportive of me during this time. Sharing and "telling" on your self at times makes you even stronger. You never know whom you touch with you joys, losses and pain. Thanks again! I almost hesitated to post anything emotional but then that would not be giving back to the ones who have been so supportive of me during this time. Sharing and "telling" on your self at times makes you even stronger. You never know whom you touch with you joys, losses and pain. Thanks again!
Quote from my group that I loved... / Chelle Wilkinson (Mom)Read >>
Quote from my group that I loved... / Chelle Wilkinson (Mom) “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.” Washington Irving Close
Peace/ Chelle Wilkinson (Mom)
Today as I watch the snow fall I think of the wonders of God. How He is the beginning and the end. The wonders of all His creations overwhelm me. Stopping and basking in His beauty has put a peace in my soul. Just how real is He? I see Him everywhere. I see him in sadness and grief. I see him in the wonders of the world he made...I see him in my joy and laughter. I have always known Him. I have always known He was with me. In the past year and a half He has been more real to me than ever. Not that He showed himself to me more...or that He pursued me...or that his touch was more tangible. Nope. It was in my desperate weakness that I broke. I broke and knew that if I was to make it, that I had to pursue Him. That He was real and here. That He was my strength and that He was and is my forever love. How healing to know that when we are really weak He can be strong. How amazing that we have to break...knowing we cannot do it alone. Know we have to become vulnerable to our weakness...to be able to show how broken we are...Jesus comes and lifts us to his chest...holds us tight. Whispers to our soul...weeps with us. Breaths strength into us and never lets go. Never gives up. Wow. I am just amazed by his love and faithfulness.
I so miss my son everyday. It really never gets easier. To be honest I think of him hundreds of times a day. I weep. I scream. I forgive. I love. Chris is always a part of me and our lives. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing. The grief stays but you learn to not allow it to consume you. You embrace that too...you feel and aknowledge it. I do not fight it any longer. Grief has changed me for the better. I took something so horrid and tragic and let it change me into who and what I am now. Jesus has given me Beauty for the Ashes...a rainbow for the rain.
I am a mom of 8 great kids. More to come I am sure. One thing I have learned from my oldest son Chris...is to love every second...every moment you have with your children. Every moment is a treasure... Close
A quote / Michelle Wilkinson (mom) “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo F. Buscaglia quotes
Over The Rainbow / Michelle Wilkinson (Mother)
This song brought me a sense of peace today, kind of silly but it was just right.
Somewhere over the rainbow Way up high There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow Skies are blue And the dreams that you dare to dream Really do come true
Some day I'll wish upon a star And wake up where the clouds are far behind me Where troubles melt like lemondrops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow Bluebirds fly Birds fly over the rainbow Why then, oh why can't I? Some day I'll wish upon a star And wake up where the clouds are far behind me Where troubles melt like lemondrops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow Bluebirds fly Birds fly over the rainbow Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly Beyond the rainbow Why, oh why can't I?
Beautiful Poem / Chelle Wilkinson (Mom) Lighting of the Candles Used in Candlelight Memorial Services
As we light these five candles in honor of our loved ones, We light one for our grief, One for our courage, one for our memories, One for our love, and one for our hope.
The first candle represents our grief. The pain of losing our children is intense. It reminds us of the depth of our love for them.
The second candle represents our courage. To confront our sorrow, To comfort each other, To change our lives.
We light this third candle in their memory, Remembering the times we laughed, the times we cried, The times we were angry with each other. The silly things they did, And the caring and joy they gave us.
The fourth candle is the light of love. It reminds us of our love for them and memories that will last forever. We cherish the special place in our hearts That will always be reserved for them. We are grateful for the gift their lives brought to us.
We light the fifth candle, to honor the men and women Who are involved in war. The war may be on foreign battle fields, Or the way may be in their homeland, Or it may be within, an invisible enemy that has the potential to destroy. We acknoweldge their struggle and hope for peace to all.
And the 6th candle is the light of hope. We light this candle that their lights may always shine. May the glow of the flame be a source of hopefulness. Now and forever. We love them. We remember them. Close
I miss my son in ways I can never understand. Holidays are hard but it is the everyday walk that is hardest. I hold him close in my thoughts and memories. Today I will light a candle in his honor. I want to hold him so much...to hear his laugh and voice is what I crave most. To see him loving his siblings and enjoying them like he once did is ever on my mind. I have come far...I close my eyes and I see these things. It does not make it better or change how I feel because I have to open my eyes and be in the now.
With every breath I take, with every thought that comes to mind...I remind myself that I was a great mom, Chris was a great son and I have made it through the worst thing to ever happen to us. We have a long road a head of us as we are coming into our second year of losing our son. We will never will forget Chris and I pray that you do not either.
A message... / Chelle Wilkinson (Mom)
I have had this urge to send this out to POS for several months but have hesitated because in the logical sense it seems illogical to have a message to you about your son/daughterbut knowing not whom it is for! However, who cares, I believe in God and messages you might not understand at the time so here goes.
"It was not because of you I left, but because of you I stayed as long as I did."
I hope and pray this finds the person it was meant for.
Terri Tyler Mother of Daniel Lee Adams 11/08/87 - 02/21/06 Until we meet again, my beautiful Son, I will hold you close in my heart I love you Close
Poem/ Chelle Wilkinson (Mom)
Because of You By Eileen Wernsman
Because of you, I love a little more. Because of you, I take time to give an extra kiss good-bye. Because of you, I have a new favorite song. Because of you, there maybe dust on the window sill, and I don't care. Because of you, I live today, before I worry about tomorrow. Because of you, I don't give up quite as fast. Because of you, I still believe in rainbows. Because of you, I can listen more. Because of you, I am finally me. Close
Chelle and family, What a beautiful, moving site you have created for Chris! Chris will never be forgotten and I am certain that the wonderful women at WP will never fail to be there for you. Lean on us and please keep sharing your pictures of Chris and your family with us!
Wow.../ Chelle Wilkinson (Mom)
Today in my email I got a quote from a mom who lost a child to suicide. It touched me so much and so deeply I had to put it here. It explains more than I could ever hope to convey on grief.
"Grief does not fade with the passage of time. We do not realize our losses in an instant; we realize them over years. We do not get over it, but instead go through it, not just once, but as many times as we do.
Through grief we honor our losses and weave them into tapestries of our lives so we can stay connected with all we have loved and still continue to live on at the same time.
We do not honor the dead with funerals & memorials alone; we honor them with our lives. Like love, grief is timeless. Like love, you cannot predict exactly how and when grief will manifest."
It is sad when others stand and judge others in anything...we all do it. We are to be Christ like not Christ himself. Grief is different to each person that has experienced it. No one should judge us over that...no one tells you how much to love something or someone...no one should tell us when to get over it. You never get over it...you never move on...you just live. You take a step each day...breathing.
For me I pray...I walk it out...remembering my son. I do not allow people to steal from me any longer. I do not allow people to tell me when I should move on or "trust in the Lord" I trust in God and He knows where I am at all the time.
I do not hang my head and sob and not live...I hold my head high, proud to have been the mom of Christopher Michael Wilkinson. In his death I have found a new meaning to life. A new found adoration for my other children. To love your children is one thing...but to fall in love with them...the good and bad...it is so amazing.
Tributes and Condolences
